No More Details Please
by musicmad10
Summary: Santana comes home from Mr Shue's 'Non Wedding' and wants to know exactly what happened at the afterparty. Also to tease Rachel about her special after party. Short drabble.


Hello to anyone who decides to read this! It's just a short piece I decided to write about the events of 'I Do' so there are spoilers from that episode if you haven't seen it yet. And if you haven't WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?

Anyway here it is. Just some light hearted banter.

**No More Details Please**

As she walks into her apartment she hears light giggling and the shuffling of furniture. Rolling her eyes she makes her presence known.

"Hello bitches!" she grins walking in with a swagger.

Two brunettes, one male and one female right themselves from the sofa immediately as they hear her enter.

"Uh...hi Santana," mumbles the female. "We were..."

"Yes I know what you were doing, I need to get the cover dry-cleaned before I sleep on that tonight," sneers Santana, once again rolling her eyes.

"Sleezebag," she walks past the man slightly nodding her head as a greeting.

"Santana," comes the reply as he groans.

"Will you ever be civil with each other?" Rachel chimes in.

"That WAS me being civil!" half laughs Santana.

"Brody is also living here. He was in fact here before you!"

"Yes I get it Berry, I shall let you two make out on my 'bed'" saying this as she sleeps on the sofa "and then not complain about it being disgusting. Next time I sleep with a girl I'll just use your bed!"

"You will NOT!" shouts Rachel standing bolt upright.

Santana knows this will wind her friend right up so continues acting completely blasé.

"Oh yes I will, maybe I'll even get my toys out or how about finding some of yours? Yes that's a great idea then I'll leave them on your bedside table without cleaning them,"

Santana puts her small overnight bag down my the sofa and waves a hand at her sofa as if to say 'well get off then'

"You are unbelievable!" huffs Rachel pouting and crossing her arms over her chest.

Brody just has a glazed look in his eyes. Rachel smacks him on the arm to get his attention.

"Don't tell me that turns you on?"

"Uh...no of course not," he shrugs and quickly leaves the apartment muttering as he disappears.

"So now he's gone, tell me all the juicy gossip from the wedding. I saw you and Finn dancing at the non-wedding reception?" grins Santana about to take a seat on the sofa but quickly remembering it might be dirty and moves to the arm chair opposite Rachel.

"We danced, yes we did. But so did lots of people no big deal," she shrugs nonchalantly.

"Uh huh and...?"

"What are you trying to get at Santana?" remarks Rachel loudly.

"Look I only want to know if you and Finnept are getting back together therefore meaning douchebag will be leaving the apartment, meaning I finally get a bed,"

"How does that work? He shares my room! And hang on, Brody and I are NOT splitting up!"

"I know, means I get his half of the bed!" she smiles waggling her eyebrows up and down.

"Now that's just gross!"

"Hey! I resent that I am gross, you should be honoured I'd share a bed with you. My sexual prowess is far more superior than yours, plus a bed would be more comfortable than that lumpy sofa,"

"Well you should have thought about that before YOU decided you were moving in. You could have slept with Kurt,"

"Nah, lady boy snores. Plus I find a woman more comfortable to cuddle," she smiles knowing she's doing a fine job of winding Rachel up.

Santana can almost see the steam coming from Rachel's ears.

"Anyway back to more pressing matter, you and manboobs,"

"He's not got..." Rachel stops herself, knowing there's no use to even argue, Santana has an annoying name for everyone.

"Yes! Okay we slept together, it was nice and it reminded me of what we used to have okay?" she sighs almost crying.

"Whoa okay there miss emotional! So you're NOT getting back together again?"

"No, he's my past. I think I still love him but it's too hard to go backwards,"

"Agreed. Anyway enough with the sappy talk, ask me how my non-wedding reception after party went!" she grins widely.

"Do I even want to know? I mean surely you didn't sleep with anyone you were with Quinn all night. She seemed a little drunk and unsteady on her feet but it doesn't surprise me I mean she's dating her college professor, she's changed since high school,"

"She's not actually,"

"Not what?" asks Rachel

"Dating him. Not any more anyway. She's single,"

"Well that's a relief!" she sighs.

"Why? Want in?" she smirks.

"No!"

"Sure, anyway I had a Fabulous night with the one and only Quinn and it seems she's been keeping some secrets all to herself,"

"So what? You got her drunk and you had a heart warming chat?" replies Rachel rolling her eyes.

"Not exactly,"

"Wait?! She's not pregnant again is she?"

"No don't be stupid, she's learnt her lesson with that one,"

"Thank God for that I mean..."

"We had sex," says Santana casually interrupting Rachel.

There is a deadly moment of silence before Rachel speaks.

"Excuse me?!"

"Twice. I was her first of course. Girl I mean, she was pretty good I fact I'd go there again,"

"I so do not want to hear this," gawks Rachel, her eyes almost falling out.

Santana laughs, patting Rachel on the knee.

"Poor dear, didn't expect that did you?"

"Not quite. So Quinn's gay now?"

"Well no. She said it was only a one time thing, that we did twice. But I still don't understand how she was that good. I mean never having been with a girl?"

"I don't really care Santana that's your problem to deal with," she shrugs trying to get the images out of her head.

"True, and I'll be happy to tell you when I find out myself. Or do you want to sleep with her too, just to see if it was a fluke?"

"No I do not!?" says Rachel slightly flushed as if the images were maybe getting to her.

"Uh huh," replies Santana as she stands up and leaves giving Rachel something to think about for the rest of the day...maybe even the whole week.

* * *

**A/N**

So what did you think? I know it's kind of random but I thought it would be funny to see how Santana and Rachel would react after the wedding.

Part of me wants to continue the story but not sure which way to take it? More Quinntana or Faberry maybe? Let me know if you want a sequel and if so what would you like.

Thanks!


End file.
